Me Big. You Little.

Desiree Burch is bigger and badder than you. Except when she's smaller and better (with more parentheticals than you can handle).

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

How to Give Head *

So along with cigarettes, I gave up sex for Lent, ‘cause I figured I wasn’t having it anyway, perhaps Jesus could again make me hard-to-get, since that worked so well in high school and college and I was a virgin until 22.

I do miss sex. A lot. And I appreciate it so much now. And I am starting to realize that I’m never going to have it again. So here’s to the good times.

I think that one of my sexual specialties is the blow job.
I am a very orally fixated person, so going down on someone is just a treat for both of us. When I say that I am good at giving head, people think that I am exaggerating, or just tooting my own horn. That is not the horn that I am tooting. I have laid out a personal instruction manual for those of you who are interested. Feel free to send me other ideas, tips, improvements, suggestions, etc. More than I ever want to have sex again, I long to perfect my craft.

  • Start by grabbing the shaft with the dominant hand, and looking down at it as through it's some kind of treat you just couldn't resist getting your hands on.
  • With naughty mouth slightly agape, draw your face toward it while looking up at guy in the eyes. He will definitely be looking at you.
  • at last moment of approach, dart your tongue out and give the little Darth Vader helmet some ice-cream-cone tongue licks but flicker the tongue so they are a bit more sexy. Make sure to get around the helmet rim. This will also help you build up spit.
  • You can tighten your mouth around the helmet of his cock, because the rim is very sensitive. Even just isolating movement to his cockhead going in and out of your mouth is going to be highly titillating, and is going to make him stiffen up.
  • Make a couple of circles and dive down on his cock suddenly. There is generally a moan of surprise/pleasure/relief.
  • Dive about halfway down his cock to begin. Best to tuck your teeth behind your lips. If you are down there for any length of time, you are going to want to start chewing. It's not the motion that is bad, just the sharpness of teeth that is, so tucking them behind your lips will allow you to *slightly* vary the aperture of the sphincter you are creating with your mouth during intensified moments of pleasure. Start out with a loose mouth; tighten it when you are getting more into the meat of the action.
  • Bob your head up and down in classic "chickenhead" motion. Support your choice with your hand in front of your mouth, as though you are playing a bugle. Use your hand to create the rest of the "canal" that his penis is in. Fingers should be tighter toward your mouth, and slightly looser as they move toward the base of his cock. This is the G.I. Joe Kung-fu grip that is going to be your saving grace while giving head. You are going to have to back off and breathe at some points, but you can always be giving him a hand job while you are planning your next move. Use it to spread the spit around.
  • In your bobbing motion, you should be creating more lubricating spit. don't suck so hard that you suck the spit up. Spit is good. The bobs should be moving closer to the base of the cock. But don't move too predictably. dart some of your sucks down toward the base, and balance that out by pulling the head way back off the cock so there is a chance for breathing for you, breathing on the cock (in the re-approach) and eye contact as you go in for the kill again.
  • As frequently as possible, make eye contact. it's easy to get into the "zone" and just start going to town with the work you are doing (they don't call this shit a blow "job" for nothing), but making sporadic eye contact is going to surprise him even more. It gives the guy the simultaneous feeling that you have some kind of devious control over his member and it is (for once) out of his hands, as well as the stereotypical pornographic shot of you (which guys are so familiar with these days) servicing him which gives him this feeling of dominance and you this look of submissive preoccupation or something. It is a knowing look that is in control of the situation, but is making him feel in control at the same time, which is sexy in its ambiguity.
  • It's good to use your free hand in these cases for ball-play. Rubbing the taint is always a good move, particularly once you get into the meat of the action, since it's a way to one-up the stakes physically. He's gotten used to you sucking the cock—but bring his balls into the picture all of a sudden, and the potential for pleasure doubles exponentially. Really go for massaging pressure on the taint. You can rub all the way up between the balls, separating them and all. on the balls themselves, be delicate but friendly. Pretend like you are babysitting them. You can't play too rough, but at the same time, they need to be educated about what is going on with the rest of the genital region, so make them feel at home. Molest them basically. (yeah, remind yourself not to have me baby-sit your kids)
  • Take time away from sucking to go back to tongue flickers on the rim. God is in the details. This is where you can rack up style points. Let extra spit slide down the shaft when you draw your mouth away, and then try to catch it with that "oh no, my ice cream cone is dripping" action, licking down the shaft. take this opportunity to go down and lick the balls some. Cupping balls delicately in your mouth is a big selling point with most guys. This is when they start telling you they love you and shit. Suck on them like they are little hot potatoes--lots of huffing and breathing and moving them around in your mouth very delicately. Lick between them so they flop out on either side of your mouth. Who's afraid of balls? Not you. Work your tongue back up the shaft and take no time getting your mouth back around it. You are master of your domain.
  • you should pretend giving head is the sit & reach presidential physical fitness test where you are trying to get farther on each try. i tend to feel like the goal (if i like the guy) of the head is getting the deep-throat action going on. Nothing says lovin’ like swallowing a little cock. Hmm-HMMM! Of course, you have to let this come on as a surprise. It's all about setting up the pattern of diving and hand ringing action, and then taking the training hand away and just going in for the kill. My gag reflex isn't as strong as other people's so it is something that may vary, but i find, the more my inclination to swallow (since i have an "i eat too much" oral fixation) the cock, the more my throat relaxes and the easier everything gets. Lots of saliva helps too.
  • If you are going to go in for the low-dive: let your tongue lead the way. it's like the sit & reach. Once it slides down it can use all those little prehensile like filaments on it to hold its place on the cock and help you slide the rest of your mouth down to meet it. All of this stuff is rather imperceptible and miniscule, but important on an organ with a lot of nerve (endings). Plus, going gradually like a little snail (okay, faster than a snail, but you get the point) will help you not to gag if you think you might have problems. But usually i find that you can get as far as you can go, and then go slightly farther with this little mechanism. Once you get down to the base, hold for a moment before going back. Hopefully through this technique you can increase the time that his little warrior is allowed to spend in paradise without hurting yourself. Although, don't underestimate the hotness factor of a gagging sound to his ears. Makes him think he is SO BIG. Use it to your advantage.
  • The next time you go down, don't go down as far. You can even bring the hand back into play, as though your extreme deep-throat was a fluke. But then, eventually, get back to that place. Go farther if you can. That's only if you like doing it, which is something that i really do enjoy. One has to do a lot less work when you are deep-throating. Just attempt to swallow the cock. This drives most men insane. And it gives your tongue and neck a little time to rest. If the back of your throat is working, the rest of you has time to rest for a while. And the slight gagging usually makes for more spit, which, if you couldn't tell already from this, is a good thing.
  • Don't be alarmed when the hands come to the back of your head. That's how you know things are going well. If you are deep-throating quite a bit, the guys is going to try to fuck your face. Women do this to while getting head. If a man starts tonguing you hard and deep, generally you start grinding against his face, essentially trying to fuck it. So don't let it make you feel degraded. I mean, you are already on your knees, sucking a cock. Though it feels kind of dehumanizing having your face turned into a fuck-hole, it's important to remember that in pretty much 99% of sex, there is that moment when both individuals go for their own orgasm. Someone feels it coming, and just starts going for their own pleasure. Sometimes you are fortunate enough to have this moment integrated with the other persons and you can come together, and everyone thinks it's wonderful, but it is just a symbiotic sexual capitalism, where everyone is going for their own gain in a way. One only starts to feel this more acutely when giving head because the brain is in your face, so you have more time to think about having transformed from person into sexual object (and one long finger making this point repeatedly in your face). Just don't be alarmed when the he starts trying to bang your face. If it's uncomfortable, you can start making the gagging sounds to let him know that you're not doing fine down there, or fucking, just tap out. Sex is a contact sport. And it is important for you to enjoy what you are doing, or the head is going to start to suck. Or you can start to do your own grabbing. You've got hands and clear access to his most prized possessions. Use your "canal" hand to give you some forced distance from the base of his cock, or use the ball-titillating hands to give him a "warning." All of these unspoken negotiations can usually be done without anyone being too hurt physically or emotionally. But don’t be afraid to speak up or stop if you are feeling bad. I would recommend reserving the deep-throating for someone you are with in a committed relationship and care about, or at least someone that you know cares about you, so that you know that there are feelings there for him, besides just the sensation of him fucking your throat, and you won’t feel permanently objectified in his mind as some kind of fuck hole. You will just temporarily feel that way, which is kind of hot. Just remember, though you may be in a submissive position, the submissive is always in control of how far things go. ALWAYS.
  • Generally, if you go to the deep-throat, the guy will be coming very soon. You can kind of just suck on it like a popsicle until he's ready to blow. if it takes awhile, repeat old techniques, and back off of the deep-throating for a bit, because he might be getting kinda numb to all of your lovin’, and you have to re-awaken his senses. Ball and taint play is always a good way to do this, while deep-throating or not. or back off altogether and return to giving a hand job with tongue action around the tip.
  • OH SHIT, HE'S GONNA COME! So either you are going to swallow or not, right? If you're loving him and want to swallow, I always feel the easiest way to do that is to dive down his cock so that the tip of it is as far back as possible and the ejaculate hits as little of your tongue as possible. Just ‘cause you like him doesn't mean that shit's gonna taste good. If he's already in your mouth, and you aren't liking him as much, or you know, want to save something for later (if you haven't already deep-throated him, most likely), make some spit and close off the back of your mouth, so when he comes out, you can just spit him right back down his shaft and rub him into himself. I think this is the most natural way to spit him out without making him feel rejected. However, my favorite move in this case, is just to throw my head back in regal superiority, with mouth agape as he says he's going to come, masturbate him to completion, and then have him ejaculate on my breasts. It's sexier than spitting. It's generally hot for the guy to see his spunk all over you, and it acts as a nice little moisturizer. just make sure to point his cock as directly at your chest as possible. Otherwise you wind up with a nose full of come and you have to wash your hair again, which you probably did before you knew you were going to fuck him that night anyway.

This is all assuming that giving the blow job was the point of your activity. If the point is to give him head before you guys have intercourse, then you are going to have to stop pre-, or in worst case, mid-deep-throat. Otherwise he will probably already be going for his orgasm, and yours will be a passing memory. Although, any man who is worth his salt, should go down on you like a champion after this. However, I find it's often better to get him to do this first, so you can gauge how far you should go with his oral stimulation. It always sucks to whore yourself out first just to find that he's going to act like a coquettish prude (if you can imagine) and only give you a cursory show at some downtown lovin'. Men can be such little bitches sometimes.

21 Comments:

At 2:01 PM, Blogger bam34 said...

desiree, i've learned something from reading this. i must say that i've only recently come to enjoy giving head -- there was a magical moment, in fact, where i just felt compelled to slide under the covers and take that boy's cock in my mouth. an act that had always vaguely disgusted me fetl delicious, and THAT is when I knew i was in love.

all of your technique tips are sound ones. i would just add the psychological dimension (call me lee strasberg), the more you decide to ENJOY it, the more you convince yourself that what you're tasting is the most delicious thing in the world, the hungrier you'll be and the better job you'll give. (i also find myself using my free hand for a little anal play, which can be amazing -- but that may be a gay thing).

 
At 10:32 PM, Blogger Tess said...

I too love the enjoyment factor, if I adore the guy's cock it just seems to come naturally. I want to rub it up and down my face, against my cheeks, between my boobs before even beginning to get it near my lips. Uh oh, I'm making myself horny. Must stop.

After the Perverts Saloon, you are one of my new idols. You did such an incredible job. Cheers, Ms. Des. I'll be back here for more tips and whatever else you have to say.

Tess

 
At 12:05 AM, Blogger DesTheRay said...

Thanks Bam and Tess. It is true. The emotional enjoyment is important to giving good head, but is 1. not an instruction I can really give. Well, maybe I can. People, ONLY GIVE HEAD TO PEOPLE THAT YOU CARE ABOUT. It wastes everyone's time a lot less. However, 2. it's not necessary. I have of course, as most have, given head to people that I don't care about as well. Which I am forced to chalk up to practice, so as not to feel bad about head that I cannot change. I have been enthused and excited about head just because the guy was hot, only to figure out I didn't really like him at all. I think probably, the best head comes out of an emotional connection. But all I am saying, is that even a fork in a microwave makes sparks. At first glance--which is all you get sometimes--that fork gives love a run for its money.

other things:
YAY perverts saloon. Met some amazing pervs like Tess, and life has been permanently augmented.

Bam, anal play isn't just for the gay anymore. Basically I have met guys who are into it... none of whom I have found myself wanting to be with yet, but that's not to exclude any of them. Rather, to put them on amber alert. Which is only a small fraction of the rainbow of gay.

How did gay people get the whole rainbow. That is the fastest one they pulled yet. Pink isn't even in the traditional ROY G. BIV, and they got that motherfucker too. Just that cliche black and white left for everybody else I guess. Here's to hoping that "red"necks don't get their wish to send gays off to their own island or another planet or something. Then they would just be left with us black people. And wouldn't that be fuckin' hilarious.

That was kind of dumb and kind of funny too, and I should apologize for it, but I'm not gonna.

P.S. the word verification for today is "snbtzio." Question: what is the name of Desiree's fantasy Euro boyfriend. Answer: Snbtzio.

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger bam34 said...

Desiree--
I'm pretty sure that the rainbow as a gay symbol derives from the Wizard of Oz, Somewhere Over the.., Friends of Dorothy etc.

My word verification of the day is Tyinwf, which is the name of a lovely town in Wales.

See you tomorrow night, superstar!

 
At 2:54 AM, Blogger DesTheRay said...

I'm a bad hag. I should know better. But shit, that was a pivotal movie no? I suppose movements have been supported on less. Is there a gay pantheon with a statue of Judy in it. With her li'l basket and shit. I saw "Wicked" last week. Yeah, Broadway... fuck. I shamefully really enjoyed that fucker. I am enjoying Broadway and getting old over here. Someone send for the fire department before the cats eat me. Shit, firemen are cute.

 
At 4:33 PM, Blogger Kelley Lynn said...

CHRIST!!! you sure put a lot of thought into this, havent you? I must say that reading it made me simultaneously exhausted and horny. You hot thing, you.

 
At 6:59 PM, Blogger Viviane said...

I'm orally fixated too.

Loved reading this, especially now that I can hear your voice and inflection while reading this!

xoxo

 
At 5:26 PM, Blogger Christine said...

Agg, I used to like blow jobs. Now they bore me. Or, well, something else bores me, which I won't get into.

Very good description. You should publish it on Nerve.

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger jacquelyn said...

jesus thank god for cigarettes.

you should teach in catholic schools. we sure could have used you

 
At 7:54 PM, Anonymous jenny said...

wow. I'm married so I obviously haven't done this in a while, but I'm reinspired to try again, thanks Des.

Jen
x

 
At 9:15 PM, Blogger Tiffani said...

This is why you're awesome, you know all the good tricks.

See you Monday.

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger asiatown77 said...

I'm going to read your post another three or four times to really, really appreciate it.

Reader #11

 
At 5:19 PM, Blogger DesTheRay said...

#11. Thank you for your support! I thank you; oral sex lovers thank you.

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger asiatown77 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger asiatown77 said...

#11 thanks you. As a man, I find this to be invaluable reading. Also, I think I have a pretty solid idea-not based on first hand knowledge mind you, but still- of what is under Rebecca's dress. If I'm wrong, I'll eat pie. Humble pie I mean.

 
At 1:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, it was nice and hard. A sex starved male.

 
At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG thankyou for this! I have to give head for the first time and im proper worried but thankyou!

 
At 3:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My wife lets me cum in her mouth but won't swallow or deep throat. A let down that's difficult to overcum. I believe her love is real. she says swallowing may cum one day and who knows, deep throat too. Hope remains as we've been together twenty years and love is real. How fantasies/obsessions can generate frustration! C'est la vie!

 
At 1:57 AM, Blogger Jullia Grace said...

The stuff in the blogs blows out my mind.see

 
At 3:33 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Hi, I've just recently gotten really good at oral sex but I still fill like I have a lot to learn. I've never deep throated because it makes me gag but im gonna try what you said as soon as possible. But just to share , I started using the ridges at the top of my mouth and he loves it! I create a suction with my mouth as im doing it. We have been together 21 years and it used to take me 10 to 15 minutes to make him cum, now i can do it in about 6. But im still learning and I love hearing what every one else has to say.

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger trish said...

This was awesome advice and hilarious so thank you lol

 

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